Saturday, April 14, 2012

Rejection of Affection

Do you remember how you felt the first time you were rejected?  Do you remember the heart shattering, disappointment and the feeling of inadequacy that stabbed through your chest like a wrecking ball plowing through a brick wall?  Maybe it was a friendship denied or harsh words spoken out of disdain.  Perhaps it was hard work that went not only unappreciated, but disfavored by your peers or supervisor.  Perhaps it was a loved one who minimized a heartfelt gesture.

No matter what the case may be, we have all felt the mark of hurt that rejection leaves behind.  Sometimes that pain can be debilitating to the point of causing doubt or hesitation when moving forward towards another project or gesture.
I very recently experienced a rejection that cut me to the quick.  I wasn’t expecting it at all and it took me by surprise, as did the feelings that followed.  I was hurt, angry, and felt inadequate to say the least.  Irrational thoughts began to flood my mind.  Thoughts like, he doesn’t care that I went out of my way for him.  Does he even like me anymore? 
I quickly identified my overwhelmed emotional state as a volatile situation and removed myself from the fire.  I took a shower and began to take captive every emotion and thought.  I allowed God to put things in perspective for me and then allow Him to speak to me.  In this, He showed me a piece of His heart that will forever change my outlook on people.
This is what God showed me. 
“Every time I call for my beloved and am left waiting, this is how I feel.  When my love goes her own way, I am left rejected.  I long for my love to come to me.  I long to be acknowledged!  I want my beloved to recognize me.  I desire my dear one to come to me.  But I am left here… waiting.  My heart aches for her.  I call and call for her but she desires other things.  Fame, fortune, my gifts.  I desire a relationship.  I long for intimacy!  Time spent in my arms and in my presence are the things I desire for my beloved.  Not the emptiness and hopelessness of walking alone.”
I wept in the shower as my heart was breaking.  What I had felt was only a fraction of the longing and hurt God felt over the ones He longs to pour His affections upon.  His blessings come and go.  His provision lasts for time being but they pass away and even as He continues to provide, He desires the commitment that accompanies the provision.  Just as one does not merge finances and assets with someone they do not intend to marry, God desires a relationship above all the tangible things of this world!!!
I challenge you this week to make sure that God is not rejected.  Meet Him in the secret, quiet place so that you can just be still in His presence as He pours His affections upon you!
God bless you as you continue to seek Him!

Isaiah 53:3-4
3    He is despised and rejected by men,
    A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
    And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
    He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
4    Surely He has borne our griefs
    And carried our sorrows;
    Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
    Smitten by God, and afflicted.

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